Q: Can I still be considered sex positive if I personally do not have sex? I’ve never had sex or masturbated—all my life, any type of sexual stimulation has been very painful and I’ve been unable to experience orgasm. I simply get a migraine and feel mildly nauseated instead. I am not looking for a possible solution, as I long ago accepted my fate and consequently avoid sex, such as by maintaining only sexless relationships. My question is simply whether I can still be considered sex positive if I do not enjoy or engage in sexual activity? —Personally Loathes Unpleasant Sex
Q: My boyfriend goes to pieces whenever I am the least bit critical. I’m not a scold, and small things don’t bother me. But when he does something thoughtless and I bring it to his attention, he starts beating up on himself and insists that I hate him and I’m going to leave him. I’m not sure how to handle this. —Boyfriend Always Wailing Loudly
“With Extra Lobster“: There are food carts in Iceland that sell delicious lobster stew, lobster rolls, and lobster sandwiches. The menu at the cart my husband and I kept returning to when we visited Reykjavík included this item: “With Extra Lobster.” You could order your lobster with extra lobster! Lobster is a luxurious and decadent treat, and getting extra lobster with your lobster kicks the luxury and decadence up a big notch. “With extra lobster” struck me as the perfect dirty euphemism for something. It could be something very specific—say, someone sticks their tongue out and licks your balls while they’re deep-throating your cock. We could describe that as a blow job with extra lobster. Or it could be a general expression meaning “more of whatever hot thing gets you off.” I’m open to your suggested definitions of “with extra lobster.” v
