QI think my husband is addicted to porn. I find porn in his browser history almost every single day. He says I’m the only one he wants, but I find that hard to believe knowing he watches nonstop porn before fucking me. He also parties every time he goes on a business trip. Needless to say, I also suspect he cheats. He says he would never cheat on me because he “doesn’t need to.” But what does that mean? I think he is a liar. Every time I even try to bring anything up with him, it is flung back in my face because I cheated on him. He has the ultimate trump card. In his eyes, he can do no wrong because it will never be as bad as me having slept with someone else early in our relationship. Anyway, my question is mostly related to porn: Why does he watch it? I feel as though I am not enough. I am 29 and attractive. What should I do? —Wife Is Feeling Entirely Yucky
Now here’s the worst-case scenario: Your husband is cheating on you, perhaps during those business trips, and “doesn’t need to [cheat]” was an insincere blandishment. But absent some other compelling evidence of cheating—incriminating text messages, mysterious credit-card charges, brand-new STIs—you’re just going to have to take him at his word.
There are two big differences between what’s going on in your kitchen and what went down on my hypothetical beach: proximity and regularity. You’re not going to see the same people at the beach again, WINDOWS, but your neighbor lives right next door. What happens when you finally and inevitably meet him face-to-face? Hopefully nothing, but the odds of something are much higher. And running into your neighbor and not being able to resist the temptation is not the only risk you’re running: You don’t know anything about this guy. Your innocent flirtation could be his dangerous obsession—and one day, you could wake up to find him standing at the foot of your bed.
