QMy boyfriend and I both spent a lot of time masturbating when we were young, and pretty much trained our brains to come only one way. He can only come from masturbating furiously, or sometimes from a marathon of jackhammer sex. A few years before I met him, I toned down the masturbating to retrain my brain and pussy and tried a bunch of new things, and I can now come from different acts and positions. It wasn’t easy, but I am so happy with this versatility. I’m starting to get annoyed that he isn’t working harder to overcome this jackhammering reliance. It hurts, it’s superboring, and it makes me feel like I might as well be an inflatable doll. We’ve talked about it, and he says he’ll masturbate less, and that does help (read: now it’s a half hour of jackhammering instead of hours), but I’m still eager for more variety—and to be able to walk after sex and ride a bike the next day. For what it’s worth, about half the time he just lets me come buckets and then gives up on himself. Can you recommend anything that would help him? Since I know firsthand this can be overcome and I accommodate him as much as possible, I think I’m being reasonable, but I’m sure you’ll tell me if I’m not. —Hoping a Massive Masturbator Eventually Retrains Exacting Dick
QOh god, Dan! Help! How do I get over my jealousy over my bisexual boyfriend, who now wants to act on his urges for women? We’ve been together and had a happy gay life for 15 years, open with men for only three of those years. He has integrity, and he says he would never cheat on me, but he’s getting to the point where he is gonna hook up with women, whether I am OK with it or not. There’s more to it, though. He is perfect in every facet of his life. A perfect person and a gift to the world, so any woman would be crazy not to want him for herself. We are deeply in love, but I’m afraid of a woman’s ultimate intention for a guy like my partner. —Jealousy Annoys Gay Guy
AI would advise you to speak to your doctor, GROAN, but I don’t think you should worry about this too much. And I would theorize that you tense a particular muscle or set of muscles when you masturbate and every once in a great while this muscle group revolts and spasms painfully; your return to gym-going may have contributed to your most recent spasm. So long as your doctor gives you the all clear, GROAN, I don’t think you should stop going to the gym—or masturbating or letting your wife tie you to the bed. Risking the occasional spasm, however painful, seems a reasonable price to pay for regular orgasms and adventurous sex. v
